Freddie Ljungberg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Freddie was actually one of our first hotties, and our inspiration for the original column, so it’s only appropriate that we revisit the stunning—though likely gay—hottie as we welcome the Swede to the green pastures of the MLS, where international soccer stars come to retire, required only to pass, pass, pass.  It’s a bit sad to admit that we first learned the lovely Ljungberg was storming our shores to join the MLS from Perez Hilton, but we are too excited to care where the gossip came from.  All we know is, it’s true, and we welcome the Viking invader with open arms.  Let the pillaging ensue! 

Few Americans paid attention to Freddie until he shaved his Foghorne Leghorne-esque red streak—apparently giving up repeated attempts to embody hero Sid Vicious—and became the newest Calvin Klein poster boy, and the first athlete to model underwear for the brand since 1982!  Freddie’s one of our favorite hotties, and possibly the dimmest.  But maybe that’s why we love him so!

 

 

Name: Karl Fredrik Ljungberg

DOB: April 16, 1977

Birthplace: Viltsjo, Sweden

Position: Midfielder

Team: Seattle Sounders

Height: 5′ 9″

Weight: 162 lbs

Allergies: Red wine

 

 

 

 

Star Sign: A fiery Aries.  No one should be surprised to learn that Ljungberg’s energetic, adventurous, pioneering, confident and impulsive, all with a high sex drive, best when trysting briefly with a Scorpio, Sagittarius or Libra.

Beckham Factor: Like the ever changing locks of Becks, fans followed Freddie’s bright hair colors—including a purple Mohawk, red fauxhawk, and a failed blue and yellow tribute to his nation’s colors—just as much as his game.  Frustrated with a loss, he shaved the mess of stained hair off after a match, allowing spectators to focus on the Nordic goods; sky blue piercing eyes, sexy lips, chiseled jaw, high cheekbones and constant five o’clock shadow.  Perhaps due to his intense focus on the match, he’s just as dim as Becks off the pitch.  Asked what the last book he read was, daft Freddie replied, Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) comics.  Isn’t that special!

Purple mohawk in action.

Fab fauxhaked Freddie.

Sugar Daddy: Ljungberg just signed a two-year contract with Major League Soccer’s newest team, the Seattle Sounders, for a reported €16 million (almost $20 million), thanks to the designated player rule, which enables the franchise to pay the Swedish star’s salary, despite the league’s cap.  Ljungberg becomes the league’s seventh designated player, care of the clause introduced in 2007, also called the Beckham rule, allowing teams to compete for players on the international market.  Freddie also famously raked it in as the official body of Calvin Klein’s Pro Stretch campaign—European sales increased by 25% during its run—brandishing a disturbingly sculpted physique, punctuated by D’Angelo-worthy iliac crest, in ads for the line of “performance-inspired underwear with athletic flexibility.”  The tattoo seen in the ads, of a panther climbing up his abs, is actually a replica of two larger, real panther tattoos on Freddie’s lower back.  In 2005, Freddie suffered rare complications when ink from the tattoos caused a lymphatic gland to inflame, and he missed four weeks of Arsenal‘s season.  Suffice to say, those tattoos will be his last.

 

Fab fine Freddie reclining.

Fab fine Freddie reclining.

 

Tag Team: Even injured, Freddie’s dedicated to his team and their overall performance, which is unique among European soccer stars, and probably means he’s a generous partner, but there’s some bad news for those looking for a little pre-game nookie…  Freddie doesn’t do the deed before a match.  “I feel that girls are going to make me lose my concentration before a game.  I want to keep the feeling in my feet.  It sort of disappears if you have sex before a match.  I’ve tried it and my feet felt like concrete when I was supposed to kick the ball.  After the game, though—well, then it’s different.”  We gladly offer up our post game services—especially if he can make us lose the feeling in our feet.  Not having sufficient time to observe and pick hottie frontrunners from the Seattle crew to pair with Ljungberg, we’re going to refrain from judgement…for now!

Recent Accolade: This move to America is a big one for Ljungberg and MLS.  Despite other offers, including those by European clubs, Freddie revealed, “[a]fter thoughtful considerations I decided this opportunity with Seattle was the right one for me….The club itself has such great ambition and the fans over here are very passionate about their team.  I am very excited about the potential of the club and cannot wait to start the new season in 2009.”  Sounders owner Joe Roth was equally enthusiastic, stating “Freddie is the exciting, creative force we need and we are sure the Seattle fans are in for a great treat.”  We couldn’t agree more! Sounders general manager Adrian Hanauer was filled with sufficient praise, saying “Freddie Ljungberg has been an impactful player in the Premier League and international play for the past 10 years,” then took it a step too far.  “His intelligence, his quickness, his bravery, his competitiveness, his experience, will all make Freddie a highly effective player in Major League Soccer.”  We love the man too, but let’s not fill Ljungberg’s tiny head with all this hot air.

Teenage Freddie...

...and at West Ham with the same winning smile.

Project:  Originally rumored to retire, the Sweden Captain’s move to the States, comes after an injury ridden year at West Ham—that, by the way, totally screwed our Soccer Hotties Fantasy Premier League team—and, to be honest, a generally injury heavy career.  Faithfully serving Arsenal since 1998, Freddie often played with broken ribs and sprained ankles.  Hopefull the MLS will be kinder to him.  Touted as “a fast and tricky wideman who can sometimes be let down by his finishing,” we wonder if he can get things done in Seattle.

Note his signature panther tattoo is no where to be seen.

His Calvin Klein panther tattoo is nowhere to be seen.

The panther tattoo on his back is just visible.

A real panther tattoo on his back is just visible.

Playtime: English women have ranked him the eighth most eligible bachelor! But rumors persist that he’s gay.  Not that Freddie helps put the rumors to rest!  Off the pitch he becomes animated and almost eloquent when discussing his style, “I love fashion and I have a lot of friends who work with fashion and clothes.  I like to mix different styles, a really nice shirt or jacket with some vintage jeans that are a bit beaten up.  For me, that’s fashion—when you can mix different stuff that you maybe don’t think fit together.”  

In defence, Freddie was quoted as saying, “I know what I am. My family knows I’m not gay and my girlfriend knows, but I’m not offended. Gay men can be very fashionable.”  No longer with the same girlfriend, the rumors persist.  To confuse matters further, he was spotted in September with Australian pop star Natalie Imbruglia (you know, the “Torn” girl), recently separated from equally hot Silverchair frontman, Daniel Johns.—Gay? Straight? We don’t care either way, we’re just happy looking!

 

Freddie posing with a Seattle Sounders scarf.

Freddie posing with a Seattle Sounders scarf.

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3 Responses to “Freddie Ljungberg”

  1. marin Says:

    yea he’s pretty hot alright, youclash.com

  2. Loula Says:

    I have been in love with Freddie since Euro96!!

  3. Lisa Says:

    My goodness! I’m almost as tall as this guy (5’9″) at 5’8″! I mean, he’s kinda short to me, which is an inch shorter than my dad, whose 5’10”. All of a sudden, I didn’t realize some of these soccer guys would be as tall as me or even shorter, like Diego Marandona (whose 5’4″).

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